There is a significant shift happening in Australia around perimenopause and menopause. The Australian Government has launched its first national awareness campaign because too many women aged 35 to 55 have been experiencing symptoms for years without recognising them. Brain fog, anxiety, loss of libido, sleep disruption and emotional changes are finally becoming mainstream conversations.

We always thought menopause was something that happened around 50. You'd have a few hot flushes, your periods would stop and that was about it. No one ever talked about the years leading up to it or just how much could change before menopause actually arrived.

Maybe you've noticed it too. You're waking at 3am for no obvious reason, your patience isn't what it used to be and you're searching for words that were on the tip of your tongue a second ago. You might feel more anxious, less motivated or simply not quite yourself. Then there's your sex drive, which seems to have quietly packed its bags and disappeared without leaving a forwarding address.

For years, many women have assumed these changes were just part of getting older, being busy or carrying too much stress. While all of those things certainly play a role, there's another piece of the puzzle that often gets missed. Perimenopause can begin years before menopause itself, sometimes in your late thirties or early forties, and because hormone levels fluctuate rather than decline in a straight line, the symptoms can be inconsistent. Some weeks you feel completely normal, while others leave you wondering what's happened to your body.

One of the biggest misconceptions is that a changing libido means you've somehow lost your sexuality. In reality, it's often your body asking for something different. As oestrogen changes, natural lubrication may decrease, arousal can take longer and your nervous system becomes far more sensitive to stress. Your desire hasn't necessarily disappeared, but the way your body responds has changed.

This is why so many women find themselves wanting intimacy but struggling to get there. The emotional desire is still present, yet their body seems reluctant to follow. That disconnect can be frustrating, especially when no one has ever explained that it's a completely normal part of hormonal change.

One thing that often gets overlooked during perimenopause is that this stage isn't just about managing symptoms. It's also an opportunity to get to know your body again. The way it responds, what it needs and what helps you feel like yourself might all be changing, and that's okay.

Simple rituals can make more of a difference than you might think. Journalling can help you notice patterns in your mood, sleep, energy and cycle, making it easier to understand what's happening rather than feeling like everything is happening to you. Affirmation cards might sound a little cliché until you realise how much of midlife is spent criticising yourself. A gentle reminder to slow down, trust your body or simply take five minutes for yourself can shift your mindset more than you'd expect.

Physical comfort matters too. As hormone levels change, natural lubrication often decreases, which can make intimacy feel uncomfortable or even painful. A quality water based lubricant, like Veil, isn't about replacing arousal. It's about removing discomfort so your body has the chance to relax and respond naturally.

And perhaps the most important thing of all is giving yourself permission to explore your own body without expectation. So many women reach midlife having spent decades focused on everyone else's needs that they've forgotten what actually feels good for them. Whether that's through gentle self touch, a body safe pleasure product or simply taking the time to notice sensation again, reconnecting with yourself is one of the most powerful things you can do. Not because orgasm is the goal every time, but because building that connection helps you understand your changing body with curiosity instead of frustration.

At Lusté, we believe these small moments of self care are never just about pleasure. They're about rebuilding confidence, reconnecting with yourself and remembering that while your body may be changing, it is still capable of feeling joy, intimacy and pleasure. Sometimes it just needs a different kind of conversation.